Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
