but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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