I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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