Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
