I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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