Do you still have your period?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
