he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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