were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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