Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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