So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
