Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
