Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
