Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
