No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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