How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
