just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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