i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
