How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
