Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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