Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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