You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if only i could text you this smell
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
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Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess