JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.