My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
