well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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