what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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