GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
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He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
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Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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