Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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