Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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