Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
