shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
