you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
