my room smells like sperm. sweet.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dude I had my dad cock block me once