her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
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There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
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If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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