the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I would ride that face into the sunset
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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