Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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