4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
never play flip cup with pint glasses
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Let's get the cat blown out
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
