I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
the liver wants what the liver wants
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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