i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
please come you make the beer taste better
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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