Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
