Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
