Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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