youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize