haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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