i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
