And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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