sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
