i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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