Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
