And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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