1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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