By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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