Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
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for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
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I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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