Apparently you make a good broom.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
