On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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