Just cropdusted the office
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize