so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
sex in a hospital.. check
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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