who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
there was a trapeze. enough said
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
