It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
